Other People's Opinions
Author: Charlotte Burton

Other People's Opinions

In a society where interaction is part of everyday life, and other people form a vital part of life, other people's opinions are actually important in where we fit into society. However, we often think we know what other people are thinking and base our actions around those 'apparent' opinions.

Yet how do we actually know whether our assumptions about other people's opinions are true or not? Frankly, we don't. This is where the Fundamental Attribution Error comes in. To put it into plain Engligh, it means that we make a basic error in assuming other people's thoughts without checking or otherwise knowing whether we are right or not in that assumption.

We base these assumptions on our schema of the world (another Psychology term which means a system of beliefs we have about how the world works from how to order food in a restaurant to how we 'should' live our lives). These schema are made up from our experiences in the world, with some schema being made up from other people's schema which we have picked up along the way: such as our parents' and friends' schemas.

Now mostly, these errors are fairly harmless: it is when we start living our lives entirely around what we think other people are thinking that it can become 'dangerous'. Many people fall into the trap of becoming practically obsessive about what other people are thinking of how we behave that everything that we do becomes subject to what we think other people are thinking.

So how do you stop being like that? First thing to do is to recognise when you are making these assumptions and when they are patently false, and put some kind of system in place to prevent yourself from getting caught up in the negative cycle. One useful technique is the Emotional Release technique taught in the Sedona Method where you can quicly overcome the obsessive nature that can sometimes come from the error. Another way is to understand why you have the schemas you do and to change them: often they are out of date and are not actually helpful (as they are supposed to be). They are also linked to the 'gremlins' (if you're British you might know the term from the recent spate of adverts on TV advertising education) - but that's a future article. Fundamentally though, to overcome harmful errors, it is all about understanding when you make them and stopping them spiral out of control.






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Charlotte Burton, BSc, AMAC, is dedicated to helping people raise their standard of life by improving their Career Skills such as Confidence, Time Management, Stress Management and Work Life Balance. She can also help you to review your career and plan for the future as well as being able to help you decide on your ideal career.

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Kill the Hype
Author: Nan S. Russell

She was waiting for me when I returned from a meeting. Standing outside my office door, I could tell by her downward glance, Jodie was not there to give me good news on the project. Despite her confident, enthusiastic and definitive style, she failed to deliver what she had pitched. It was not the first time.

Jodie operated counter to the Scottish proverb advising: "Never let your feet run faster than your shoes." She was full of ideas, full of promise, full of idealism, and short on results. Her over-promising was stalling her career. You see, results are what differentiate people who are winning at working from people who aren't. Results are how both companies, and people, prosper. As much as Jodie talked, with absolute confidence, about what she was going to do, she didn't do it.

There's no shortage of Jodies in the workplace. There are too many people talking about what they're going to do, want to do, or are thinking about doing. They paint intriguing pictures with their exuberance and that helps them get the assignment. But they fail to deliver on the promise. In my twenty years in management, I found them in both consultants and in-house staffs. I've even hired a few. I guess I wanted to believe they could do what they said.

But I learned they're much like town billboards claiming "best hamburger in the world," or books and magazines touting that I can have flat abs in five minutes a day, build self-esteem in ten days, and become a millionaire in five easy steps. While promises may be the essence of advertising, and over-promising may get books, magazines, products and services sold, they cause disappointment. Unfilled promises build our hopes and diminish our trust.

So, when you find someone who builds your hopes and enhances your trust, take note. You see, there's one talent that defines people who are winning at working. They don't disappoint. They deliver. They consistently produce what they say they will. And they do it again and again and again. They may pitch their ideas with passion and exuberance, or caution and logic, but they don't hype them.

People who are winning at working deliver what they promise. If anything they under-promise and over-deliver, without ever sandbagging. Every time they do what they say they're going to do, they build their credibility. And credibility builds careers. But, there's another benefit too. Self-esteem soars when you surprise and delight a boss, a client, or a teammate by delivering more than you promised. Want to start winning at working? Don't promise more than you can deliver. And kill the hype.

(c) 2005 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.






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Sign up to receive Nan's free biweekly eColumn at http://www.winningatworking.com. Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. She has held leadership positions in Human Resource Development, Communication, Marketing and line Management. Nan has a B.A. from Stanford University and M.A. from the University of Michigan. Currently working on her first book, Winning at Working: 10 Lessons Shared, Nan is a writer, columnist, small business owner, and instructor. Visit http://www.nanrussell.com or contact Nan at info@nanrussell.com.

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