Self-Defeating Outcomes ... it will fail, if you want it to!
Author: Edward B. Toupin

The resiliency of the human spirit is astounding. A human can face immeasurable odds, over and over again, yet still rise up, pick a direction, and continue forward. However, over time, the spirit becomes weakened by fear and darkened by doubt. As the spirit begins to weaken, eventually, forward momentum does not seem possible.

--- Self-Defeat ---

We all experience situations that challenge us beyond our current abilities. We move forward in life then, all of the sudden, our life changes before our eyes and we must start over or, at the very least, readjust to make a go at it again. These situations cause us to take stock in our lives and examine what is real and what is important. We then evaluate the situation and learn from them so that we can move forward toward our goals.

However, if we don't accept and learn from our experiences, we build up various fears. These fears range from utter failure to the potential that something will happen every time we move forward in life. Our spirit is weakened by the fears and, eventually, we begin to expect defeating outcomes in every situation we encounter. However, by believing that every situation you encounter will fail, you are creating a "self-defeating" outcome.

Consider that you are trying to accomplish a task. First of all, you can choose to put it aside out of fear of failure, or take on the task. If you put it aside, you've lost nothing, and you've gained nothing. However, if you take it on, the task has two results, success or failure. If you believe that, "the task will fail because everything in my life turns out that way," then of course it will fail. The reason it fails is not because of any Universal directive. The reason is simply based on human nature: you are telling yourself to fail; therefore every action you make will be the opposite of those actions required for success. The end result is exactly what you asked for---failure.

Eventually, this situation avalanches into a situation that we feel helpless, lost, in despair, and that our world is out of control. We begin to have fears of things that we never feared before and, with a tired spirit, we eventually just give up. However, there is a way to turn this situation around. We can exercise our spirit through conquering fears and by executing "affirm-actions."

--- Affirm-Actions ---

To rebuild our weakened spirit, we must present to it small successes that counter our fears. Set a small goal and plan to achieve it. It can be anything that challenges your fears, but only a little at a time. Each time you challenge a fear and succeed, that fear is eliminated allowing your spirit to breathe and become strong enough to conquer each subsequent fear.

Once you exercise a few challenges and dispel enough fears to dig out of the doubt, you can establish your affirm-actions. An affirm-action is a combination of an affirmation with an action plan. The affirm-action provides an affirmation to define your desires and establish a self-succeeding approach while the action is the path that you will take to achieve your goals. Instead of self-defeating thoughts, say, "It is my right to be happy and I can do so with my talents." In this way, your brain knows that you are moving in a positive direction to reach this desire and it will accept the affirmation to help you make the right moves toward success.

--- What's next? ---

We are sometimes conditioned to believe that the future is bleak and unattainable because our spirits have been weakened and we're not sure which way to turn. We can fix this by strengthening our spirit through destroying fears and creating self-succeeding outcomes through affirm-actions. Although the process is not easy, by believing and achieving even the smallest successes, we can progressively break out of our self-defeating conditioning and create the fulfilling life that we desire.






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Edward B. Toupin is a writer and coach living in the "Entertainment Capital of the World," Las Vegas, NV. He works with individuals to help them realize their potential and establish the directions that will bring them the greatest fulfillment. Visit his sites at http://encouragement.netfirms.com and http://www.toupin.com for more information.

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